"A double minded man is unstable in all his ways." James 1:8
As I reflect on my current circumstance, I can't help but see this.
There are two things I want out of life: to love and to be loved. I keep preventing both of these. Friendships eventually evolve and blossom both but as I see this step in the relationship coming, I put on the brakes and it all comes to a screeching halt.
Why? What would cause me to prevent the very thing I want most?
The answer to that is its complete opposite - what scares me the most - being rejected. I live in fear of the day that I dare open my heart to someone only to have them put up their hand in refusal and walk away.
3:53
I don't know if anything has come of the past twenty minutes. But I hope it is the turning point in a downward spiraling chain of events.
I know that there must needs be opposition in all things and that we must taste the bitter so we can appreciate the sweet. If that is the case, then I will fully appreciate whatever the opposite of this fear is.
